My Mother always used to tell me that the worst mistake I could make in my relationship with her was to lie. Car accidents, school suspensions, even altercations with the law could be forgiven, but lying could not. This has always stuck with me, and to this day it is difficult for me to lie, which is a liability in Los Angeles where success often depends on your ability to lie. (Thanks for that Mom.)
As an adult, I’ve learned that the truth has many shades, and it really does lie “in the eye of the beholder.” (Sorry Mom.) Truth is so often a choice, especially when it comes to understanding ourselves, and how we choose to view others. Truth is also highly subjective in our culture where “pragmatic truth” often overrides “correspondence truth,” as long as the “ends” are sweet enough to justify the “means.”
Sometimes I have a sense when someone is lying, either to me or themselves. I’m sure this sense sometimes stems from simple paranoia, but for the most part I’d say my “lie detecting” instincts are spot on 80-90% of the time. I think that I got this trait from my grandmother, who would never let you get away with even the smallest lie. I’ve often wondered, how could she do this? Do lies have a sound?
I’m doing research for a composition project involving recordings of people lying. There is a fascinating book by Eric Alterman (http://ericalterman.com) that talks about lies in world politics, and it’s impact on society. This book is very well referenced and written, and is acclaimed by many historical scholars. Some of the revelations are staggering, literally.
For example, the second chapter illustrates how The Cold War, given a fair assessment of the facts, was probably our fault. I always thought FDR to be a great President. Turns out he was also a liar. To be specific, he lied to Stallen, and to the American people. Near the end of WW2 there was an allied conference in the european city Yalta. During this conference FDR, Stallen, and Churchill laid out the allied plan and agreed terms for the end of WW2. During negotiations, Stallen demanded rein over Eastern Europe following the War. FDR knew that that American public would never support this, but he needed Russia to win the War. So, he lied. FDR agreed to give Stallen regin over Eastern Europe at the end of the war (lie), and then gave false testimony to the American people as to the terms of the Yalta agreement (lie). Do the math…a big mess ensued after WW2, which we now refer to as “The Cold War.”
I guess this is why Mom said it’s bad to lie. But let’s be pragmatic here. We all lie when we really have to. Don’t we? I mean, we all do it, so that makes it OK, right?
Drew Schnurr